I wrote to Simon Cowell the other day, explaining my triumph in the Complaining Game, and asking whether there was any room for a brand new, original TV show. I stated we could use an X-Factor style format for the Complaining Game, ending in a 6 hour live show with a catchy title such as “The Complaining Game 2010 – Live Results!”. I informed him I had already written to Dave Benson-Phillips, Barry Chuckle and Piers Morgan asking if they were interested to judge “the next X-Factor”. I have contacted The Bill Everett Centre to ask if I can use the sports hall as the studio, and already have confirmation from 17 people saying they were interested in being in the audience.
I haven’t had a response from anyone yet, not even Barry Chuckle. So this is an exclusive to all my readers. You will be finding out the results to my most recent complaint, before the rest of the world. Think yourself very lucky.
The “Victim”: Happy Hippo
The Complaint:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I recently purchased a 5 pack of Happy Hippo’s from a popular supermarket and I was extremely disappointed with the products.
I purchase a box each week when I do my weekly shop so that I can have a treat at work. Being a 5 pack, this works out ideal, as this covers each of the 5 working days in my week (although it does mean I can not have any over the weekend, which makes things a bit difficult on Monday as the cravings start to kick in and I am usually very tempted to have 2, which would be detrimental to the rest of the working week and involve sacrificing the treat on one day). Over the years I have never had a problem, however the last box I purchased was extremely problematic.
I opened the box on Monday morning, took 2 out and then put 1 back so I had a full working week of Happy Hippo’s. This is when I first noticed problems. Due to the physical compounds of the Happy Hippo, they are very brittle, so a breakage has to expected resulting in a loss of structural integrity. What shouldn’t be expected is a severe rupture of all 5 Happy Hippos. This makes consumption very tricky and often results in the loss of parts of the Hippo. Not so happy I think you will agree.
This was a big enough problem in itself, but it was something I was willing to cast aside as a blip in my Happy Hippo purchasing. However, this was not the only problem. The main problem, and reason for me complaining was the taste. Happy Hippos are usually a taste sensation. The combination of flavours is something you would expect from a Michelin starred eatery. But somehow Ferrero have managed to incorporate these exquisite flavours into a handy, aquatic mammal shaped chocolaty treat at only ~£0.39p each. Each Hippo (I have taken out “Happy”) tasted awful. I am unsure whether this was due to them all being squashed for a given period of time, but they all had a distinct bitter taste to them. After having a bite of each one I threw them all away.
I was and still am extremely disappointed and I am unsure whether I can continue to purchase these for my daily treat. I have noticed that Bounty also do a 5 pack so I may now have to consider using these as my treats. It will be very difficult to turn down Happy Hippo’s in the future but I will have to reconsider my loyalty.
I look forward to your reply.
Kind regards
The Response:
The Result:
The Hippo's Are Finally Happy Again
Exaggerating Life Since Forever 
